I became a parent 5.5 years ago. The timing is important for the purposes of this piece, because, well, a lot has happened since I first experienced the responsibility of someone else’s life. A “new wave” of feminism began in the last decade—yup, this is extremely critical to the story of my experience. Women’s rights have come into question or been re-questioned in all parts of the world including in the great country of Canada (thanks politicians). Also in that time, I have

Anxiety almost ruined my life. What began as postpartum depression, turned into postpartum anxiety, and it lasted for six years. For six years I suffered terribly. At the time, I didn’t know what was wrong. I knew that I didn’t feel right. I knew that I felt like I was out of control. I knew that I felt guilty and ashamed and that I couldn’t do anything right. I believed that I wasn’t a good mother. I believed that people didn’t like me and didn’t want to be my friend. An

It’s a long hard slog back to yourself after having kids. Let’s be honest, do we ever make it back? No of course not, not really. The reasons why are obvious and yet it’s oh so easy to tear ourselves up trying to. It’s funny because the mental changes are so permanent that it’s completely futile to think your brain can go back to what it was before having kids given all that has changed. So why is it that with our bodies the same rules don’t apply? ‘Tighten it back up!’ one o

Here they are, all 10 of them. ............ .................... Ok ok, just kidding. I'm not really going to bore you with my resolutions list for the year. Can we go ahead and maybe do some collective resolutions that have nothing with going to the gym, or swearing off sugar for life, laying off the Netflix... blah blah...something else that when the days get long and you've been momming hard for too many hours in a row, some goal that completely flies out the window? Inste

One of the hot topics right now in the momnewsmedia (just made that up), is the concept of the “mental load.” We stress, and sometimes we break over the mental load of momming, working, being a wife or partner (if that’s the case) and keeping up with…well, everything. The endless lists upon lists: what will the kids eat tonight, do they have clean shoes for tomorrow, when is that doctor’s appointment, is this weekend booked with something, is that rash just from the heat, et

#maternalMHmatters I believe that we are all on our own journey, in life and in motherhood. My journey happens to involve a terrible struggle with postpartum anxiety and postpartum depression after the birth of my daughter. At times, it was debilitating. I won’t go into detail here, as it will take many blog posts to tell that story. What I will share is that it was very difficult for me to talk about, to admit to myself that I needed help, to ask for help, to accept help

Let’s be real. There’s nothing normal about suddenly becoming responsible for a tiny human and keeping it alive. The shock of it all took me by surprise. Nothing can really prepare you for motherhood. Especially when it’s your first time. There is so much that is unknown during pregnancy, labour, delivery, and those first few weeks and months that follow in ‘the trenches’. You don’t know how it’s all going to happen. You don’t know how you’re going to feel once your li

It seems as though there has been a movement lately amongst women, specifically mothers, towards an increased awareness of the importance of self care. Great, right?! Seriously. So good! It's about time that women started to understand the importance of self care. The benefits of it are undeniable. For me, this is an area where I really struggle. In fact, I down right suck at caring for myself. I often find myself pondering over this, and questioning why it is that I am

It was January 2015…and I was in hell. I rotated between rocking a screaming baby, trying to feed a screaming fussy baby and snipping at my young daughter. Lather, rinse, repeat. Seriously…..lather, rinse, repeat. Pile on top of that frigid Northern Ontario weather, a small business struggling to survive it, and you begin to get the picture. My husband and I were in a miserable place. Rendered miserable by the months of stress compounded by lack of sleep, stresses from both o

So as I write this, I’m coming off a night in my basement, where I slept in the guest bedroom in the dark – two floors away from my family. My husband had both baby monitors for our toddler and 1 year old, and the dog was in his usual spot on the couch upstairs. I didn’t sleep right through the night. I woke up 3 times to pee (not preggo just still can’t hold the pee so well after the babies were born), and my mind wasn’t calm (I thought about work a bunch right before I feel