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May 17, 2018

  1. Your bladder is going to be in seriously bad shape…if that baby comes out your vag…don’t be hard on yourself about it. It’s going to happen. Two days after I had my daughter my husband starting recounting my birth stories and was taking some liberties with the mate...

November 28, 2017

This contraption, credit: my inventive husband.

The contraption is two milk jugs set up outside pocket doors, straws taped to the inside of the doors and beer cans sitting on top - so that when the doors open they knock the cans off and make a loud noise - you dig? 

This...

August 8, 2017

I had heard the phrase so many times…’oh she’s a momma’s girl, he’s such a momma’s boy’ and felt very ambivalent towards the phrasing. I know that there are many mommas out there who feel a special twinge and a fullness that comes from being the ‘one’ their child needs...

July 18, 2017

What I learned is that it’s not something you should do….at any point, no matter what weird  masochistic inclination might be nagging at you to check your shit out, I beg of you…don’t do  it. It will haunt your dreams.

There are a few universal truths in life…payin...

May 10, 2017

9. Impulse control…one second they’re hugging and drooling all over you and the next they’re threatening violence over a hotdog

8. Watching them try to put on their own shoes is about as exasperating as letting a mosquito bite your finger

7. They have zero bladder contro...

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