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Proof that toddlers and drunks are the same

May 10, 2017

9. Impulse control…one second they’re hugging and drooling all over you and the next they’re threatening violence over a hotdog

 

 

8. Watching them try to put on their own shoes is about as exasperating as letting a mosquito bite your finger

 

 

7. They have zero bladder control at all and will piss in whatever corner is within closest proximity

 

 

6. Have short term memory loss – they ask for pizza and when you present them with pizza it is slapped out of your hand faster than you can say ‘I don’t know this asshole’

 

 

5. They have the coordination of this guy

 

 

4.  They’re belligerent as fuck as soon as you ask them to do just about anything

 

 

3. They’re total ‘know-It-Alls’

 

 

2. Their dancing skills are about as coordinated as…

 

1. They will pass out literally anywhere

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The Bitter and the Sweet

October 19, 2017

1/7
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