Bye Bye Baby
The time has come. I have read time and time again that when the time comes where you’re face to face with all of the memories of your last child’s infancy piled up in bins, overflowing from every closet in your home, it will be bittersweet. You will feel nostalgic at the little tiny onesie with old milk stains marking the front. Simply seeing the tiny booties that never went anywhere near their tiny perfect feet will make your uterus sing a swan song. The smell of the baby blankets will make you weep as you sit in the rocker that you used to spend hours in rocking that helpless little bundle fall fast asleep.
You will wonder what happened to all that time and fear how fast time is going to move from here on out. You will struggle with every item, should I keep it, this one is very special, when I see this outfit I think of this and that. It’s all a benchmark for the speedy, flowing, momentum that is your baby’s first and second years. I read that it would happen. It will be bittersweet.
Yah, it’s not….it’s just fucking sweet. IT’S SO SWEET! Halle-fucking-lujah! I don’t feel sadness. I don’t feel anything resembling a desire to go back in time and do it all again. I don’t feel bad about it either. Onesies – peace out bitches. Bottles…fuck you very much. I feel liberated. For a long time I held on to all of it and told myself it was because many of my friends were still having babies but I know now that wasn’t the real reason. It was because I didn’t want to face the fact that I had been told that I should be sad to see it all go and so I waited patiently for that day to come. It never did. Once I admitted to myself that I’m just simply not sad at all that it’s over, I suddenly had this mad desire to get it all out of my house.
Do I sometimes miss the little baby that was my child, sure, for a brief fleeting moment I miss it. Then I play the video of him screaming like an absolute lunatic and I’m brought back to reality. The fact is, there are so many incredible memories ahead of me with my kids that I can’t be crippled thinking about all the ones that have already happened. So – I now have empty closets (yay) and I also have a sweet little balance at Kidz Korner that is slowly growing with every passing week. I don’t feel bad or sad, I feel excited about all of the memories I can make with my children with every passing year.