There seems to be a strange fixation with women’s pregnant bodies, and their pregnancies in general. I get it – pregnant women are all glowy and beautiful, and they’re making human life, which is a magical thing. What I don’t get is the need for people to share their opinions with you about your changing body and your pregnancy. Enough is enough. It’s time to mind your own body.
Sometimes it’s hard to accept the changes that happen to your body when you’re pregnant. Healthy eating and staying active can definitely help you to feel better. But ultimately, you aren’t in control of how your body changes, or how your weight gain will be distributed. Sometimes your body has its own plan. And that’s okay. In the end, all that matters is that you have a healthy baby.
I’ve written a post about body shaming (read that post here). But pregnant body shaming – that’s some next level shit that I’m not okay with. It’s shocking to me that people say things like this to pregnant women:
Isn’t it too soon for you to be showing?
Are you having twins?
WOW – you’re only (X) weeks/months along? (while staring at your belly)
That coat won’t fit you much longer…
Should you be drinking coffee?
Yes, all of these things have been said to me – some very recently. I know, it’s shocking. And if you’ve ever been pregnant, I’m sure similar things have been said to you. I, for one, have had enough of the unwanted comments and judgement. Since when is my pregnant body up for discussion? The worst part is that when you speak back or tell people that their comments are hurtful or inappropriate, they get mad at YOU. WHAT?! They retort with “Stop being so sensitive” or “Don’t take it personally”. Fuck that. These people need to stop deflecting the situation by responding negatively to my reaction, instead of realizing how rude they are. Me being sensitive (which I am, and I love that about myself) is not the issue here at all. And as far as taking it personally goes – you bet your ass I’m going to take personal comments about my body, well, personally.
Trust me, being pregnant does not give you the right to inspect me up and down and then cast your judgement. I find that these types of comments tend to come from older women who haven’t been pregnant in 30+ years (so maybe they forget what it’s like?) or women that have never been pregnant (so they have no clue what it’s like). The only thing that I can think of to respond with is “Mind your own body”. It’s more polite than what I really want to say, which is “Why don’t you just fuck right off”.
Can we all try something? The next time you are talking to a pregnant woman, take a minute and pause. Then, ask her how she’s feeling. Let’s take the focus off her body and physical changes. And if that doesn’t feel possible for you, then just smile and say nothing at all.