An open letter to my partner
Nothing has made it more clear to me how crucial you are to the equation that is our family then you being away, and I’m sorry for that. I sometimes like to delude myself that I can handle it all. Mornings, breakfast, school lunches, school bus drop off, daycare pick up, meals, baths, bedtimes, story times followed by wine times.
I told myself most recently that I could do it all because well, I had to! You were going on a big, special trip and I was mentally prepping myself to keep it all under control while you were gone. It’s not that I can’t do the tasks. I’m quite skilled at working my way down the list and getting shit done, it’s that I simply don’t want to do it without you. Something about it just doesn’t go as well when you’re not here. I’d say you’re the left arm to my right but that wouldn’t be accurate...you’re no less a parenting force than I.
You’re an absolute wizard with bedtime. Literally every night putting the kids to bed I would think to myself, ‘Beam me up’ needs to become a thing so that I could just quickly teleport you home to help ease this flailing toddler into a blissful sleep. There’s a softness and patience to you that I will simply never have and I am in awe of it. I also love how much you care about how my day was. You always text me, right near the end of it...right about the time when I begin to yawn and my energy is starting to drop to check in on me and it makes me feel so loved. I’m saying thanks.
Thank you for being my partner in every way possible. Our parents joke about how common it was when they were raising kids for the Dads to be almost completely hands off. They worked out of the home, Mom worked in the home. That was it. My mom jokes that my Dad changed maybe 1 diaper in all of time me and my sisters were growing up. My mom was not a stay at home mom either so she had a job and all the ‘domestic duties’...whoa now.
Thankfully, family dynamics have evolved and both of our children will grow up knowing that both parents, working together to love and raise them is the only way for a two parent family to thrive. A friend shared this wonderfully put article: http://ladiespassiton.com/2017/06/12/i-do-not-help-my-wife/, and it made me beam with pride at the similarities I see in that man and the man I married and built a family with.
You’ve never been and will never by my ‘helper’. You’ve never ‘helped’ me put the kids to bed because they’re your kids too. You’ve never ‘helped’ me do the dishes because everyone in our household ate the food. You’ve never ‘helped’ me with the chores because we both live here and we’ve organically carved out our own household roles that take the burden off of one another. You’ve never ‘helped’ to discipline our kids because it’s equally important to both of us that our children know respect for rules and boundaries.
People always say a mother is the heart of the home…that might be true but a father is the lungs. You breath life into every corner of it. You fill it with energy and keep everything flowing. You never get stuck in the past, you’re always encouraging us to move forward and think about what great stuff lies just around the corner. Life is so busy. We all know this. We’re flying from one activity to the next without a moment’s pause to stop, breath in the roses and say thanks. Again, I’m saying Thanks.
Marrying you was the easiest and best decision I’ve ever made, hands down. I love you. Happy Father’s Day!
xo Kristin
