The life of a single mom is bittersweet
I never imagined I would be in a situation where I would have to “share” my son; I don’t think many people do. I was married, in love, and thought that was the way things would be, well…forever. I was wrong, which is ok, because my little family is much happier this way. Is it sad from my child’s perspective sometimes?…youbetcha!
Take Halloween for instance (which really is a token moment in your child’s life compared to say, Christmas morning) it’s a tough, hard, sad, mad, thing to realize that you have to share, and that this past year I didn't get to take my son out out trick or treating. Not because he is passed that stage in his life, or he is sick and can’t make it, or because he just simply didn’t want to, but because I have to share, him, his life moments, with his dad. And truth be told, IT SUCKS! Not necessarily from my son’s perspective, but for ME! Which may seem kind of selfish, but, hey I am a mom, and the need to be selfish with all of his life moments is just a part of the deal!
There are so many things that we take for granted. First day of school pictures posted to Facebook that happen a few days after school actually starts because it doesn’t fall on “your” time. Split holidays that cause all around anxiety even in the most calm parents (and kids for that matter) because it means negotiating the time your child gets to spend with you versus his other parent. Conversations that happen behind the scenes to make sure your child doesn’t know that you are involved in high level negotiating with the goal of having equal terms for both parties, because at the end of the day, you want what is best for your child, hands down. For me, it’s just that simple.
It sucks, it reallyreallyreallyyyy does and I can tell you that after five plus years, it doesn’t get any easier. Having to say goodbye to your child on a weekly basis for any reason is hard. It makes me value every single moment I have with my son. Every laugh, every moment of total bliss (or whininess) he has when we are together is absolute perfection. I know it may sound crazy but I revel in the crazy, I revel in all of it, because it is a privilege to be his momma bear (as he calls me!). Even though I may not be with him every moment along the way, I can assure you that I am in fact his mom, every second, of everyday, of his precious life. I get to be his mom, and there is no better feeling in.the.world. Period!
xo Guest Blogger Erin