Our unexpected three under two
Ultrasounds (especially early ones) have never been easy for us – too many heartbreaks and false starts.
This was our second fertility clinic – the one that gave us our daughter after years of hurt, isolation, depression, IVF failure, pregnancy losses and the (false) conclusion by a previous specialist that we were outliers in the fertility game.
And there we were, my little family, together for this moment. My husband and one-year-old in the ultrasound room as I desperately tried to read every expression and sound my tech made as we hoped for a healthy six-week heartbeat.
When the tech asked how many follicles I had for this cycle, I sensed where this was going. She turned the monitor and showed my husband and I two healthy heartbeats. Two!
We both laughed when the tech told us we were having twins. After all the failed cycles and setbacks we faced, multiples were not on the radar. But there we were getting the news that we were about to have the three kids we always wanted, but didn’t think were possible.
It was lovely, wild, unexpected news for our family.
A friend commented that if only I had had a crystal ball a couple of years ago. But that’s just it, nobody does. We all live with a degree of uncertainty and limited control. And that was definitely our family planning experience.
Pregnancy doesn’t heal the wounds of infertility. That’s still a profound part of me that has deepened my empathy for others, reminded me how hard we can hurt and how damn resilient humans can be. Those years bolstered friendships, tested others and bonded me with some kick-ass women I may not have met otherwise. It will forever be a part of me.
And, I’m fortunate it has led me here.
All that said, the idea of twins is intimidating. After living through the newborn months with my daughter, it’s difficult to believe someone could ever manage two babies at once. Let alone leave the house with two newborns and a toddler. But I’ve been reassured by many that we will survive (and leave the house again).
I’m also told I’m about to be part of something special – the twin experience.
It won't be long until these two make their arrival and I’m getting my head around the challenge ahead of managing three under two. I’m also keeping perspective that in between the grueling moments, there will be joy.
Back to the first ultrasound—our reaction was laughter because, well, life. And, in the end we’re getting the three kids we dreamed of, just not how we planned, and there’s some beauty in that.
Wish us luck times two.
xo Guest blogger Melissa