The Bitter and the Sweet

I am a proud Military spouse, I am an adoptive parent, I am an infertility survivor, I am a 3x Gestational Surrogate, and this is my story…………. My journey to motherhood began in 2002, the year my husband and I were married. Right after our wedding we stop all prevention and started down a long and bumpy road. After six years of tracking cycles, taking temps, ultrasounds, medication, and intervention, we come to a cross roads. In August 2007, my husband received his first posting message, we were headed to Trenton, Ontario. Trenton might as well have been Mars, I had always lived minutes from my parents, my sister, and the people I went to kindergarten with. This was going to be a huge change, but we went into it feeling hopeful that his was the change we needed to make our family happen.

Once we were settled in our new home, we thought long and hard about what our next step would be in this mission to become parents, and like a ton of bricks it hit me, I didn't need to be pregnant, but I did need to be a mother. This propelled us onto another path where we would become foster parents, and eventually welcome, our now oldest daughter into our home and hearts. We had done it! We were parents, and we were a family. Our conceiving a biological child became insignificant and we looked forward to giving our all to our darling daughter. Less than a year after our daughter came to us I discovered I was pregnant, sadly nine weeks later that pregnancy ended in miscarriage. I was so sad, so mad, and for a long time never thought I would forgive my body for such a cruel trick.

Months passed, five to be exact, and I was pregnant again!! I was in disbelief, but in an instant knew what my miscarriage was meant to teach me; it taught me to believe in my body, have faith that it could do what, for so many months and years, I was angry for it not doing. We welcomed our second daughter into the world in April 2009, seven years after we began our journey to parenthood, there we were the beaming parents of two beautiful girls.

My journey to motherhood had been full of so many emotions, and in the end the biggest one was joy. I knew if my body would allow me I had to give that joy to another woman who was unable to carry a baby herself. I set out to help a couple create a family, with the help of Joanne and Canadian Surrogacy Options, I found an incredible couple, and in 2012 another beautiful baby girl was brought into this world, with the help of my body. A few months after she was born, I felt compelled to continue to help, again, Joanne helped connect me with another couple who had been on such a long and heart breaking path, I knew it would be an honour to help them make a family, and that we did! In 2014 we welcomed a beautiful baby boy into the world! Most recently, I was able to make my first surrogate a big sister; in March 2017 her perfect baby brother arrived, again with the help of my body. I have been so blessed, so incredibly blessed, to carry four children, one of them my own, and three whom I was able to give back to their mommies once they were ready for the world. Becoming a parent wasn't easy, making my choice to become a surrogate was simple. Lending my body, opening my heart to a connection that no words can express, has truly shaped my soul. Now I have been given the opportunity to help in more ways, by support intended parents on their journey to making dreams come true.

Guest Contributor Julia Howell Ross

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