Is four of us enough?
I’m trying to figure out how any family out there decides whether or not adding a third baby is a good idea. I have a girl and a boy and you get the people that say “oh that’s perfect, millionaire family, you’re done.”
Sure! After I gave birth to my second I thought “factory closed” I am done.... but am I!? How do I know? I can’t say right now that I’m definitely done with babies but I can’t say 100% let’s do It again. But why!? Why can’t I make this decision? For some it’s black and white, yes or no, do you get your hubby fixed or not.
Does anyone have a checklist that helps with these types of decisions? I tried looking for a Facebook questionnaire or quiz to help me out but no such luck!
The first thing that comes to mind is: do we have the room!? We have a beautiful 3 bedroom home with two bathrooms. Finished basement and great property. But.... if a third comes do I want to do the whole bunk bead shit? Making space in a home is first but then comes transportation.
I’m not worried about getting a mini van, I would love it. Let’s face it, my husband would be driving it and I would still have my nice little Mom Turbo... We have another SUV but it will not hold all of us. So we would need to try and sell it and eat the difference and find something with 7 passenger seating. More money...
And what if the third one doesn’t go as smoothly? I have two perfectly healthy children and my pregnancies with both were pretty fantastic. What if they’re twins? Oh my goodness I would just go mental! If I’m worried about having twins maybe I shouldn’t have a third? Twins run on my mom’s side (my grandma was a twin) and on hubby’s grandma’s side. I don’t think we could handle 4 children let alone TWINS!!
Then I start to think how the dynamic would work with the three of them. I have a very sassy, intelligent, strong willed, very independent 6 year old girl, and I have a one year old boy who’s a busy busy boy but so friggin happy all the time! Both of whom are very much mama's babies. Who will the third one gravitate more towards? The scenarios that take place up in my head are just as much frightening as they are comical.
Now of course, money comes back into play..... sure right now they don’t cost me anything. But what about when they want to drive? Or go to university? Or they want my last $40.00 in my wallet?
And what happens to my relationship with my husband? He’s the most caring, supportive, hands on person I know. He will literally do anything he can just to make my life a little easier or my day a little better. I’m so lucky! When we had Owen, things changed. Not for the worst but it changed. What will a third one do to us? Will we have time to even talk anymore? Will we want to? Terrifying, thinking about the unknown.
I do want another baby. But not because of the baby phase. I want to be a little older and have my three kids who are in the young adult phase and doing stuff with them. Enjoy family game nights, go camping, plan their weddings, be a grandma. I want that part... the baby and the pregnancy part is just a small small portion of what having a child really is. I’m looking forward to the later years the most. These are the times I enjoy most with my parents. I couldn’t remember half the things I did as a child with them. Some things, but nothing compared to now. Celebrating my wedding with them, the birth of my babies, milestones in my career, their birthdays, watching them get gifts from their grandkids... all that stuff is what I want when my kids are older. I just want three of them to do it with.
So that’s it right!? Just think about those things and answer some simple questions and you’ll know if you want to have a third - right?
If only it was that easy...... anybody out there have a quiz or questionnaire I could try!?
Guest blogger Samantha