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That old line...

“Time flies when you’re having fun.”

It does, but it also flies no matter what you're doing. It flies when you’re having a horrible time, when you’re just in the daily grind, and when you’re looking forward to the next big thing!

With the countdown to my firstborn going to J/K happening, I’m realizing just how fast time has indeed flown. I’m sad, and happy, all at the same time. These last two years have sped by, since my second baby was born, and I had several major life events occur as well as some major growth in my career. I went through my own struggles and have (mostly) come out the other side (that’s for another time) and my little guy who will be going to public school soon has also grown up, so so much!

I guess that’s why I’m a bit sad. While I was dealing with my own crap, and trying to grow and evolve as a person, to be the best mom I can, I kinda had a hard time parenting my little guy, who soon will be spending less time with me. For a long time, I had no patience (not just with him but really for anything or anyone) and we had a LOT of struggles with our mom-son relationship after my second son was born and I went right back to work almost immediately, leaving little quality time to spare.

You know when people tell you to enjoy your kids when they’re little? I used to get frustrated at that comment because I felt it was putting so much pressure on me while frankly, I was having trouble enjoying anything about life for a while there, there was so much stress.

But hell. They’re right. And the last few months, I have been soaking up the mom time. As I was dropping son #1 off at Montessori this morning he said “you’ll walk me into my room and stay for a bit, right mom?” And because my 2-year-old was happily with his providers I had a few extra moments solo with my big, little guy who is only 4 - but so very mature. So I stayed with him for a little bit, we had lots of hugs, we talked about our plans for after school, and then I left. And I realized, then and there, that I wouldn’t trade any of those moments for the world. That while life goes on, those moments are what make life worth living.

I’m sometimes too busy to really listen to his stories, or I’m too distracted by something unimportant to see the changes in his little life (guh). But I’ve gotten better, because I’ve gotten better at being in the moment in my own life.

So now, here I am, cherishing these last 6 months before he goes off into the public school system, cherishing my firstborn’s moments of growth, his amazing imagination, his zest for everything, and even his moments of grumpiness (because hey! an opportunity to love him up!)

Because time does definitely fly, when you’re having fun, growing up, and living life. So I'm going to try to make it count, especially when it comes to these humans I've created!

xo Sara

#childhood #momguilt #children #momfidence #parenthood

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