Recently, I’ve had the opportunity to talk to a lot of fantastic women and amazing mothers, and one thing that we all have in common is that we all STRUGGLE. Momming is f’n hard. It’s no joke. It’s easy for each of us to look at other mama’s and assume that they have their shit together.
You see Mrs. Supermom at the park, she looks well put together (today), and her kids have matching shoes and clean faces, and you see her looking happy as she watches her kids playing at the park, and her kids are all behaving (for now), and her kids all come running when she says it’s time to leave (this time), and you watch them all stroll away happily, and you can’t help but wonder what the F is wrong with you??? What the F is wrong with your kids?? Why can’t your kids all come running when it’s time to leave?? Why can’t your momming be that easy??
Believe me when I tell you – we are all dealing with our own shit show and we are all struggling to keep from choking on the shit. You see – everyone’s shit show might look a little different, and some shit shows may stink more than others, but at the end of the day…it’s all just one big, fantastic shit show.
What you don’t know about Mrs. Supermom is that the reason she has her kids at the park is because she is on her last nerve with daughter #1, she has just had to discipline daughter #2, she’s exhausted from being up multiple times in the night with baby, and she’s hoping that toddler is going to be able to keep her shit together even though she missed her nap today. She is stressed out thinking about what she can make for dinner tonight because Kraft Dinner just isn’t going to cut it three nights in a row, she has anxiety about returning to work and about how she is going to pay the bills next month if she doesn’t go back to work, she is counting down the hours and the minutes until hubby gets home from work so that she has some help cleaning up the shit, and she thinks she is failing, not only as a mother and a wife, but also as a woman.
Nothing about her feels “super”, everything about her feels average at best. She is disappointed with herself because she is struggling. She needs a break. She needs a moment to breathe. She needs a moment to think. For her, this time at the park is her 30 minute time-out. It is her chance to re-group and re-focus. It’s her chance to get her shit together so that she can go home with her kids, keep her head up and keep from choking on the shit. So the next time that you see Mrs. Supermom at the park, and you start to think that somehow she is momming better than you, remember that we are all just doing the best we can to survive, and we are all struggling.