Share your story, grow with that vibe, that is how you’ll attract your tribe!
(My daughter is just slowly growing out of Dr. Seuss so cheesy rhymes come all too naturally, hahaha!)
But seriously, if you’re on the spectrum of extroverted like I am, this mantra (or message behind it) saved my life when I became a new mom of 1, and then glaringly necessary when I became a new mom of 2 (cuz honestly its a whole new ball game with each additional blessing).
When I was sinking and felt like someone was plugging the straw I was trying to breath from, I suppose my instinct to live kicked in just in time and I grabbed out for a life line, referred to me by a friend and colleague. It's interesting, as life proves to be sometimes, I had been loosely connected with this woman through shared work spaces and throughout the community, and although I felt safe and attracted to this woman’s energy there hadn’t been a catalyst to ignite any true connection. Until I needed her. You see Tania is a nutritionist and post-partum doula (now an accredited lactation consultant too!) The day I visited Tania with screaming babe in arms I learned the importance of sharing my story, and not the sugar glazed FB polished story. I found a safe place to be vulnerable; I spoke, I sobbed, I made eye contact and I fell apart but you know what? Tania held space for me to fall apart but most importantly she helped me find within myself the strength to build myself back up. I had tools now! And I don’t just mean the remedies and nutritional support but she opened my eyes and heart to holding space for others to do the same, to fall apart and build themselves back up knowing they are loved, seen and heard.
WE ARE ALL LOVE
And thus my tribe began to form, as I joined moms groups and made the added effort to surround myself with like minded people. I grew as my tribe grew. I believe by being vulnerable and allowing the space for others to do so too we build our tribe, our community; a safe place to fail, to share, to give and receive, to heal and to grow.
Now this message, I admit, does come with a few disclaimers but since I love to rattle on I figured I’d let myself finish and add them on to the end!
I recently became aware that the thought of joining groups freaks some people out. If you tend to sway toward the introverted side of life, I see you. I am an extroverted minority among a small intimate group of introverts. Although I don’t have any experience with your feelings, it doesn’t make them any less valid. If the thought of putting yourself in my story makes you want to barf that’s not because there is anything you are doing wrong or should be doing differently (“differences aren’t deficits”, as my yoga instructor Elaine reminds us).
All I’m saying is that whether you share story to one person or to hoards, you deserve to be heard, to feel support, to be a part of a loving tribe. Whatever that looks like for you.
Disclaimer#2: When I mention my growth reflecting my tribes growth I don’t mean I have a swath of people surrounding me at all times, nor do all those amazing souls belong in my most intimate of circles. BUT each one; from Tania (who is an amazing resource, well of knowledge and beautiful light in our community), to our selfless neighbours (who have gone as far as to drive us to the hospital, then clean up the house and make us dinner after a traumatic incident with a glass door and my toddler), and many others who I am grateful to have in my corner, each one of these tribal sisters and brothers see me. We see each other. We honour the connection we have, the connection that exists between all things living. And that is where the growth is!
So if you happen to be reading this and feel like you’ve been drowning, like no one sees you, like you’re not worth reaching out to;
Breathe. Slowly. In through your nose (SO), out through your mouth (HAM).
Breathe in (I), Breathe out (Am).
I see you. You are worth every breath you take. Share your story in whatever way works for you. There is no right or wrong. Try to let fear take the backseat and feel how being vulnerable can be a catalyst for growth, connection, healing and possibly, even accidently, you will build your tribe.
With all my love and inexperience,
From my tribe to yours,