The pandemic has tested all of my mental health management tools
Funny story. In 2020, there was this pandemic that rolled into Canada… oh wait. We’re still in it. Fuck. We haven’t even experienced the “second wave.” Kids haven’t gone back to school as planned (tomorrow is September 4th! Holy shit batman!), people aren’t working in offices really, not just yet at least, and everyone is wearing a mask (at least I hope everyone is—if you’re not, I have some choice words.)
For some the pandemic is a hoax. Those who are in that camp, well, we don’t know each other, OR we aren’t friends any longer. A lot of people have died and been affected so don’t get me started on how it is all fake, it’s not. The pandemic destroyed (don’t worry I’m ok) life as I knew it basically, and yes—of course there have been some incredible lessons I’ve learned from that experience. But, all of a sudden having the carpet ripped from beneath your feet, well, that has happened to me before in previous times in this life, and even during the worst periods in my life, I never wish the “life as I know it is quashed” feeling on my worst enemy. Because the life is quashed feeling is crapola.
Ok but that said—there have been some moments of pure gratitude. I have a roof over my head. My kids have been able to eat, and I live in a country where the government supports its people. Everyone has had their own experience with the pandemic, and this is mine. Yours is yours. I have had, for the first time probably in 15 years, full days to do just exist and not have plans—what a gift. Something that was unexpected mind you, but I won’t ever complain about the extra time to spend with my kids.
But I am willing to bet that there are scores of mamas out there, reading this, in the Bad Moms Canada audience, that maybe are in the management stages of some form of mental illness or strife, and the pandemic through that mental health management out the window.
Whoever you are, I’m here for you. In the last 4 years, I’ve been waking up every morning to do “the work” that it takes to be present, healthy, and happy around the people I love. It takes effort every day. It takes a stockpile of tools I have at my disposal that work to keep my brain balanced (or somewhat) and keeps me from going off the rails.
However, the pandemic obliterated a lot of that. I am a creature of habit and routine. I need to pack the lunches and clean the kitchen at night, go to the gym regularly, have weekly social outings with my friends, take the vitamins (ladies who CBD I’m including that in my line-up) and tell myself “I’m doing great this week.” The pandemic told all of us who are doing the work to stay sane every day to Fuck. Right. Off.
I can honestly say that the first two months were ABSOLUTE SHIT. My birthday popped up some time in that phase and I spent all day sitting on the driveway trying to pretend I was ok with everything. But internally I was dying. How could I finally get to a place where I felt like I was on track just to have some crazy outside factors (THANKS COVID-19) throw that out the window? And then the guilt kicked in, and every time I was feeling sorry for my pitiful state good ol’ guilt would say ‘suck it up buttercup, you have somewhere to live and you don’t have COVID-19’. Jesus. What a cluster.
Ok! Well, we have all been through tough times before, right? Yes, yes we have. the Bad Moms Canada blog started because moms have tough times, and they need each other. And that’s precisely how things started to get better. Although my situation hasn’t really changed, and the pandemic really blasted everything normal out of the water, connecting with other mamas has absolutely been my saviour.
So I couldn’t go to the gym (critical normally for me), sleep has been tough, there has been a little too much of my anxiety crutch (booze), but, I still have some of my tools. And recently, I have been waking up every day and saying “No. Fuck. You. COVID-19. I am going to win.”
To all the other mamas out there who are not just taking care of littles at home but also: managing a marriage or partnership, managing the littles solo, dealing with home crisis, working from home with kids, trying to find work in a horrible time in Canada, sick, trying to get through any kind of mental illness or trauma, taking care of sick family members (guh!), dealing with one million details and more—I am so here for you. I feel you. All the mamas out there feel you. And if you need someone, reach out. This crisis isn’t going to go away anytime soon, but neither are we.
Text me if you just need an ear. Comment on this post and I’ll PM you my number.