A (good) sign of things to come
What the hell is this all about? You're probably asking yourself. Ya. It's weird for me too don't worry. Why is there a photo of all of these dishes and random garbage on a kitchen counter in this blog post?
Honestly, I am stunned and aghast just like you. Just kidding, I'm not really, actually. I'm the opposite. I am super, super proud. And happy.
This my friends, is a good sign that my anxiety isn't managing me today. It's a good sign that I'm on top of my anxiety. This messy counter top (with probably mold and new species of vermin growing underneath it - OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG) is now living proof that you CAN make progress if you are dealing with anxiety.
I know a lot of mamas who follow us suffer with mental health issues. I swore up and down that I would never get too open about mine on this platform, rather letting others have the floor to share. But, I am currently going through Exposure Response Prevention Therapy (ERPT) for OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) and part of it is letting things that make you anxious "sit." You're basically allowing things that raise your anxiety to exist - and therefore you're exposed leaving you to feel how you feel in the moment and hopefully, allowing your brain to discover that perceived threats are not actually dangerous.
I have so much more to say on the subject. There is a whole world of information that I've learned as part of this diagnosis and also my other one of Panic Disorder. While it's been eye-opening, it's also been sad at times as I've learned that a lot of my waking hours in the past 5 years have been spent just trying to "get by" and feel a little relief from the anxiety that plagues my brain on a daily basis. But, knowing that I can make a little progress here and there, and being actively engaged in doing what I call my brain re-set has been SO FREAKING AMAZING.
Last week, I counted three days in a row that I WOKE UP without anxiousness setting in right away. If you have struggles on the anxiety scale, this is huge. Generally, I am feeling a little happier and "present" day by day. Instead of clamouring to find little ways to ease the "omg the sky is falling" anxiety and worry, I am spending more time doing things that are important. I decided to invest some time into myself to get these disorders under control, and my future self is already thanking me.
And the first real sign of progress is this messy counter. It's messy, it's ok, and I'm going to go take my dog for a walk before I clean it up. I am going to let it sit, and that means I get to just "be" for a minute.
To be continued...